Be the Stranger

Be the Stranger

We just returned from a fundraising event for Coaches vs Cancer in Spokane where Dave and I were able to tell our story regarding his cancer. Although I wish that cancer had never entered our lives, the lessons we've learned along the way have changed our lives for the better, and for that, we are grateful. This is what I shared with them.

A year ago last June, I talked Dave into taking a much needed vacation with our entire family. We took our two married children and their spouses, our 14 year-old daughter and our three grandchildren to Disneyland.  The trip went so perfectly that it truly was the “Happiest Place on Earth”. In fact I remember getting on the Dumbo ride and looking at all my family sitting in elephants and thinking, “I am the luckiest woman in the whole world.” As we wrapped up California we were going to make a stop in Las Vegas for a few days to attend my family reunion.

On the plane, Dave began feeling dizzy to the point that he couldn’t sit up. The flight attendants moved passengers around so that he could lie on the seats, administered oxygen and called for medical help. And that is when our journey with cancer first began and that is when I learned my first lesson.

I knew that our family and friends loved us but what was so amazing was the kindness and compassion that was shown us by total strangers. While on the plane, there were no pillows to put under Dave’s head so a woman across the isle volunteered her jacket. After the medical personnel came on board they allowed the passengers to disembark and when they moved Dave to the stretcher, there was the woman’s jacket. The flight attendants hurried to catch her but she was gone. I didn’t even know her name. I didn’t know how to thank her.

Upon arriving at the hospital it was determined that Dave was bleeding internally and he would require emergency surgery and 10 units of blood. I will never know the names of those 10 people whose gift saved my husbands life.  I didn’t know how to thank them.

One night as I fell asleep in the chair next to his hospital bed, someone had come in and covered me with a blanket. That simple act meant everything to me.  I don’t know their name, I didn’t know how to thank them and it bothered me. I wanted these people to know how grateful I was for their acts of service and love and then it hit me. The only way I could repay them was to be the stranger for someone else. Dave and I made a commitment to each other and to Heavenly Father that we would try and do this.

Upon his release from the hospital 12 days later, the first thing he wanted to do was meet with his players. He doesn’t often let me address the team but in his weakened state he did. I told them about the strangers who had lightened our burden and asked the players if they would help us repay them. They accepted the challenge and it was an amazing experience to watch them throughout the season as they would look for ways to be the stranger for someone. From something as simple as helping a young mother with her children and bags off the plane to becoming personally involved in the lives of the children with cancer in our area. They truly stepped forward in a big way and in the process, it changed their lives as well.

Winston Churchill said, “A man makes a living by what he gets, but a man makes a life but what he gives.” I hope I never forget these people who helped us in our time of need. I hope I will always remember to keep my heart open and watch for ways that I can repay them. I hope I always remember to be the stranger.